Sadly Pam explained to us that Marlene was now in St Michael’s Hospice, that although very poorly she was comfortable and not in pain, her family were around here. This was quite a shock to group members as events seem to have taken over rather quickly.
We explained to our three new members that Marlene had been running the support group with Pam since its onset 26 years ago. Marlene had helped us all a great deal with her love and understanding and was always there to listen if you needed her.
For new members attending a meeting for the first time, to hear that someone is so seriously ill with cancer must come as a great shock, so it was explained that Marlene’s was not a breast cancer.

The meeting moved on to discuss other events.

• Janet had received another letter from Marks and Spencer re their mastectomy bras.
• Rose told of her experiences when she visited Bravissimo.
• Ideas for restarting the newsletter were shared, and it was agreed that the discussion would continue next month.
• Names were jotted down to be put in a hat for a Lingerie Event at John Lewis on Sat 19^th April, and it was agreed that they would be "drawn" and the "winners" notified before the next meeting.
• A list of names was also taken for those who wanted tickets for the London Fashion Show, October 1^st 2008. It was decided that as a group we would again fund two people to attend this event, but others who also wanted to attend would have to pay for their own ticket. Tickets this year are £60, Jean will apply for these tickets after the next meeting.
• Our new cards with our support group details, and a piece of pink ribbon attached were available for anyone to take away. Gloria is also taking some of these to give out at Headstrong appointments.

The rest of the meeting continued with cups of tea/coffee and a chat.

It is with great sadness that we announce that Marlene passed away peacefully on 25th March in St Michaels Hospice.

As quite a large group gathered together, we chatted about Marlene’s Memorial service and as we came together we decided that as a group we would contribute £100 towards a specialised bed for the hospice that Marlene’s family were hoping to purchase in memory of her -a very special lady indeed.

The group magazine
This was briefly discussed again and it was agreed that

To be continued at the next meeting.

A draw had been made for those attending the John Lewis Lingerie Event on Saturday 19^th April and the lucky members had been contacted prior to the meeting as the meeting date was too close to the event to do it any other way.

Brenda reported that a new wig shop had opened in Little Common, and Pam reminded everyone that although patients were of course free to choose where to go to purchase their wigs, wigs bought via the Hospital Trust cost just £50 as they were subsidised.

Janet made final report on the Marks and Spencer Post-Surgery Bras summing up the correspondence between herself, on behalf of the group, and the Marks and Spencer Chief Executive’s office.
"In the autumn of 2007 Marks and Spencer reinstated their ordering service in local stores for post surgery bras. They have produced a pink booklet with pictures of twenty seven bras, which is very useful, although only about six or seven styles seem to be available at any one time (in-store staff can check for you).
From mid March 2008, they are also selling post-surgery swimwear, two tankini’s and two swimsuits. We have given the ordering numbers sent to us from the Chairman and Chief Executive’s office to our local store in Hastings.
Recently we have sent another letter to say thank you to all the staff who have worked on this project, and that we will be watching further developments."

Other subjects briefly discussed were

Gloria welcomed three new members to the meeting, and we were introduced to Kieran, a local surgeon, and his wife, who came along to find out about the fashion shows that we run in October each year. Kieran and the Hastings Association of which he is president, inspired by attending our fashion show last year, are considering running a big fashion event in Hastings on August 30th

Pam also told us about a sponsored 24hr relay event that was being held at William Parker School on 23^rd/24^th August, and wondered if any of us considered making up a team. More details next month.

Other items discussed

• Date and ticket price for our own fashion show was decided Thursday October 2^nd, tickets £4.
• It was confirmed that we will have a stall at the Ninfield Carnival again this to raise funds for the group. Date of carnival 19^th July.
• It was agreed that we order10 tickets for the Breast Cancer Care Fashion Show in London on 1^st October.
• That next month we would have a guest speaker to tell us about the benefits of Tai Chi

The rest of the evening was spent chatting, helping to answer queries that new members had with their treatment and generally offering support and help. One member mentioned that she had been worried about her cancer returning and had become quite depressed because of it. She said that she had felt that she was waiting for something to happen all the time, but since seeing Stevi, the Cranial- sacral therapist, who offers her services at the hospital, she now felt much better. As a group we discussed how we felt, or had felt, about this, a common problem for most cancer survivors. These were some of the comments that others might find helpful

• Speak to your Breast Care Nurse
• It becomes easier as time passes.
• The further away from your treatment you get, the more your confidence grows
• Ordinary things happen to our bodies too, but if they don’t settle down, ring your GP
• When you’re tired you get more depressed, so don’t overdo things

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Our June gathering was quite large and we welcomed another new member, the main part of our evening was taken up by our guest speaker Lynn Wood from Herstmonceux who came to talk to us about the benefits of Tai Chi. She gave a little information about it’s history and then invited us all from our seats to do some simple exercises with her. I had to stifle a laugh at one point as I imagined someone walking past with their dog, looking in and wondering what was going on, when they saw twenty or more ladies all in the same position raising their arms up and down! At the end of the session Lynn left some further information with us for anyone who was interested in following on with Tai Chi Lessons. In fact Tai Chi seemed ideal in many ways for breast cancer patients, apart from helping to keep our bodies supple, the gentle movements suiting almost everyone, it especially helped to exercise shoulders, and some of us find a stiffening there after surgery and treatment. A large part of Tai Chi is related to deep breathing and relaxation, and we all know how much we need that, many of us suffer "grey days" and panicky feelings especially during, and directly after our treatment. Those of us who are further away from our cancer treatment know that as time goes on, life becomes easier, but methods of relaxation and ways to calm ourselves are certainly a help.

For the rest of the meeting we chatted amongst ourselves, in our experience the best way to support each other, and ran through a few up and coming dates for our diaries.

• July 19th Ninfield Carnival
• August 23/24th Relay for Life
• August 30th ‘Fashion Fusion’ Fashion Show @ William Parker School in aid of St Michael’s Hospice and Sarah Lee Trust
• Oct 1^st London Fashion Show, 10 tickets have been booked for our group
• Oct 2^nd 1066 Pink Ladies fashion show Conquest Hospital

At the end of the meeting we were sorry to hear that Pam, our wonderful Macmillan Nurse, who has been in office at the Conquest for thirteen years and has helped most of us through difficult days, is retiring at the end of this month.

Of course Frances will still be in office, carrying on her sterling work, and a replacement for Pam is to be found, but there is no one at the moment, so watch out Frances, you’re going to be rushed off your feet!

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As well as a full house at Gloria’s we had two visitors to our July meeting, Sam, a nurse from the Conquest, who had raised £200 sponsorship money when she ran the Hastings half marathon and wished to donate it to our group and Sarah who came to speak and enthuse us to take part in the Hastings Relay for Life over the August Bank Holiday. We were all thrilled with the sponsorship money and thanked Sam for her generous gift to the group, a definite booster to our funds!

Sarah explained that this was the first time that Relay for Life had come to Hastings and she was trying very hard to make people aware of the event. Run by Cancer Research this is a 24hour relay taking place at William Parker School starting midday Saturday 23^rd August and finishing midday Sunday. It was hoped to be a big event with stalls throughout the day and live entertainment in the evening, all proceeds going to Cancer Research. For more details visit www.cancerresearchuk.org/relay

Other things discussed at the meeting

• New leaflets available from Breast Cancer Care including "In it together", which could help those supporting someone through their illness.
• MacMillan have also produced a new publication – "Financial status for those going through Cancer"
• Following last month’s guest speaker Janet and Jean told the group that they had now started Tai Chi, their actual lesson was Chi Gong which focuses on well being and they produced a leaflet "Nifty after Fifty" which gave information on classes for this and other things in the Hastings area.
• It was voted that Kay Bevis, from the Conquest Hospital would be invited to give a talk on alternate therapies.
• Reminders were given for forthcoming events – Ninfield Carnival. Fashion Fusion and our own Fashion Show, see events page.
• Names were drawn from those interested for tickets to the London Fashion Show Oct 1^st.
• A huge thank you was given to Colin who, as our webmaster, has successfully managed to find an alternative host with a much cheaper annual subscription.
• Ira noted that M & Co in Bexhill were now selling post surgery bras
• Janet reminded everyone that if post surgery bras ordered over the internet from M&S needed to be returned, they could be returned to a local store and for those who do not have internet access it is possible to go into M&S and order there.

It was a great surprise to us that Pam announced last month that she was retiring from her post as Breast Care Nurse at the Conquest and during the meeting we presented her with a bouquet of flowers. She told us all how kind everyone had been, about all the letters, cards and gifts that she had received and talked how lovely it had been, the wonderful people she had met through her job and how she appreciated all their good wishes. However, although not still in office, Pam is not retiring from our group and will still be attending meetings, administering advice, and helping us as much as she can.

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Our August meeting was quite a quiet one in many ways, not too much that needed to be discussed, so we just gave out dates of events and meetings for the rest of the year which were as follows:-

Saturday 23/ Sunday 24^th August
Relay for Life, William Parker School, Parkstone Road Hastings. 24hr relay in aid of Cancer Research UK. Starts 12 noon on 23^rd, with lap of honour by cancer survivors followed by buffet lunch, stalls live music in evening etc. At 9.30 the track will be lit by candles, and there will be an opportunity to write a message on the candle bag. Come along and see what’s going on throughout the event.

We started the meeting by giving reports on the Hastings, Cancer Research, Relay for Life and the Fashion Fusion Show, in aid of St Michaels’ Hospice and Sarah Lee Trust, that had both taken place during August and involved some of our members. Both had been hugely successful events.

Fashion Fusion Aug 30th
Pam had photographs of this fantastic event to show members. The evening had included, Indian food, Bollywood dancing, collections of clothes from High Street stores like New Look, as well as independent shops in Battle and Hastings, a fantastic colourful mix of eastern and western fashions.

Jill, a relatively new member, handed over her pink bucket containing an amazing £289.61, money that she had collected at a recent Ginetta race meeting at Mallory Park – a fantastic boost to our group funds. She also promises to write a short piece about the event and include a photograph for our news page on the website. So keep a look out.

Several members registered their worries over the time taken to receive mammogram results and it was decided, as a group, that we would write to the appropriate hospital heads.

We then drifted into tea, coffee and chatting whilst tickets and arrangements were made for those attending Breast Cancer Care’s Fashion Show at The Grosvenor House Hotel on October 1^st. With all these fashion shows, we should be the most fashionable support group around!

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It being October, and Breast Cancer Awareness month, we had planned the evening as a Pink Party, but what Pam didn’t know was that she was that we were having an extra celebration just for her. As house began to fill almost to bursting she was surprised to see familiar faces that she hadn’t seen for a while, but we persuaded her that we had just met and invited some old members back for the party. But when we were all gathered, we presented her with a necklace that we had commissioned a jeweller to make, especially for her, to say thank you for all the invaluable help she had given us over the years that she had been in office as Breast Care Nurse at the Conquest Hospital, before retiring in June.

In addition to this Christine Nuttall from the 1066 Quilters came along and presented the group with 30 heart shaped cushions. Earlier in the year one of Christine’s friends had had breast surgery and Christine had made her a heart shaped cushion, which she found very useful to tuck under her arm where it was still sore after surgery. Seeing how well received this gift had been, Christine went back to her club and asked them to each to make a heart shaped cushion which they could donate to our group hoping that they could be of some use. As you can see from the photographs they were very pretty and they were a huge success, members took one, either for themselves or others that they knew of, going through treatment at the moment and by the end of the evening there were only a couple left! Gloria thought how lovely it would be to take some of these into the hospital to give out and so Christine, thrilled with seeing how useful the cushions had been, went away promising that their group would provide some more.

We always very lucky, people are so generous towards our group, and we feel privileged that others like this Club think of us. Thank you.

So a great evening had by all.

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November Meeting 2008